I have run.
I have crawled.
I have scaled these city walls.
I have dealt with the busyness of the stupid mall.
I no longer blame you for the fall, but I still can't get up the courage to call.
It just feels like you built this freaking wall!
I believe in your love.
I believe in your grace and helping hand,
But I still haven't been able to follow it quite yet.
I would like to...
Why can't the process be smooth?
I believe in all of that.
I believe you can bring all the pieces together,
But I just haven't been able to get up the strength to be willing.
I just feel stuck in the muck.
I can't even make an extra buck.
I thought you were in love with me,
Supposed to be as light as a feather.
Why doesn't it make me feel better?
I haven't been able to give up control.
I'm afraid of the outcome or possibly discovering the mole.
In the back of my head I know you are good,
But why do I feel like a lump of coal?
Sometimes I just want the control.
I don't want to be boxed in.
I'm afraid of losing my identity if I tried to follow yours.
I am not only afraid of being boxed in,
But I am also afraid of being boxed out…
I love you and I trust you,
But part of me just can't let go of these tights.
I feel like I will be judged for having my relationship with you,
Or for it not being the way everyone else believes the relationship should be.
It just seems like...
I still haven't found what I'm looking for: you know?