Here’s a journal entries from 2016 when I was really struggling:
It's hard when one day I wake up and I’m finally feeling like I’m having a breakthrough; and then the next day I feel like I’m right back where I started.
And another:
I'm feeling like I'm going to lose my faith; feeling like God isn't there and he's not listening, and all it takes is one more mistake for me to be out. Even though I know that's not true, even though I know God is there, I feel like I can't hear or see him when I pray. I just feel like he's getting even farther away from me.
And another:
I felt like crap today, feeling like I'm one step closer to failing life. I’m having a hard time pleasing teachers even though I try my hardest. It feels like the world's just waiting for me to mess up, can't wait to get to my future excited to see what it brings, and can't wait to see what's next for me.
Some days I was doing good (or, at least, okay) and I wrote things like this:
Had a huge encounter with God. Feeling like he's actually there for the first time in a while.
I often love life and hate it all at the same time.
Woke up so happy today!
That’s a look at some of my thoughts from last year. I hope it helps you to see that other people struggle too. So far, 2017 has been a great year for me. I finally feel like I’m having a breakthrough and loving my life!!! That doesn't mean I don't still have struggles, though. I still struggle with sadness.
You're going to hear this a lot from me, but it’s important that you never give up. Sometimes you have to walk through a burning fire before you can walk through a beautiful rainforest. I know how it feels to want to give up, and feeling like you're not good enough or strong enough. But, that's not true at all! It took me a while to realize that, but now I do, and if you give up, you give up on the chance for anything to get better. I wouldn't trade my struggles for anything - all the crap I've been through, all the things I've struggled with, I've learned a lot along way. I still have struggles and I still have times where I fall apart because of something that happened or something I'm going through, but giving up is not going to get me anywhere.