Smart Things I've Learned from My Stupid Struggles

Part I

We've all done stupid things, we've all done things we really regret, we've all done things that have hurt others, or ourselves, or our chances at being able to do certain things, we all have things we will never do again, we all have things we wish we could do over…. But with all the stupid stuff I've done (and stuff you've done) there are things I've learned - very valuable lessons that I wouldn't have learned if I didn't do stupid things.

There are also things that have happened to me that I hated going through and didn't want to do. For the most part, looking back on it now, I'm really glad I've gone through that stuff because I've learned a lot. For example, if I had not been in the SSN (significant support needs) program at school, I might not have had the same opportunities to make friends, or the same opportunities to go on certain field trips. School sucks sometimes, but if I didn't go to school I wouldn't have learned what I've learned. If I did not struggle with depression, I would not have become as strong as I am. If I did not have a disability or the struggles I do, I would not be writing a book like I am, or have my own website and blog. Believe me...let me be clear...none of this stuff has been easy or will be easy. It's going to take time, but it's possible if I work hard.

I'm never going to tell you it's going to be easy. If you were looking for that, you're reading the wrong guys writing. I often don't show my tough, pushy side, I'm only showing that side of me because I want to help you succeed. I learned through all my struggles, not to give up. Believe me, I thought about it in the past, I wanted to be done. I was tired of everything seeming to fall apart. It seemed like everything was getting harder and harder, but I eventually realized even when things are hard you can't give up, because if you give up, you give up on your friends and family also and that's one of the most selfish things you could ever do.

That was one of the most stupid thoughts and mistakes I've had ever, was that I was worthless and people would be better off without me.

I also think it's really important not to let people get into your head. For a while, you may be able to control it and ignore them, the more it happens the more you'll start questioning about yourself and others. I think sometimes people don't try to hurt you and get in your head but it still happens when they don't realize it so you need to be careful about that and you also need to be careful not to become one of those people that gets in someone else's head and makes them feel bad about themselves, even if you're making someone feel good about themselves it could make them turn selfish, and it probably will if you do it too often. I'm not saying you can't give people compliments and be nice to people you should, just make sure you don't turn selfish or cocky on other people.

I used to not like to hang out with people or do anything with people; I used to not like having friends but that changed. I realized that it's really important to have friends. I think it's important to have a small group of friends, but it is important to have friends to call you out on your mistakes and help you through them that's very important. It is important to have friends that are willing to work with you and help you but will also call you out on your mistakes so that you can become more aware of what you're doing so they can help you get through it and so you realize you need help and you need to learn from your mistakes. If you don't learn by mistakes, what are you going to learn by, you can't learn if you don't have any messes. 

I know I've been a little bit all over the place in this post, but I figured that it was important to talk about this as well because I feel like it all ties in together.

First of all, a lot of the situations I've been through that have really sucked, like going through depression, losing friends, or even losing myself, in these times I didn't feel like I mattered, in the times I would cry for no reason, I learned how to become much stronger, I've learned how to deal with things a lot differently, deal with people a lot differently. Sometimes you have to feel like you're stuck inside yourself, in order for the door to open, and more opportunities to go pouring it for you.

Never miss out on an opportunity, even if it seems like a very stupid thing, or below what you know you can accomplish because there's always something you can learn from - everything no matter what it is. It also doesn't always mean that you learned from teachers though, I did teach myself a lot, and that I absolutely will happen a lot a lot of people might disagree but it's true. I learned a lot from being dyslexic. I've taught myself a lot from being dyslexic. I've taught myself a lot from being overly emotional and overly compassionate even, and yes that very much is a thing you have to be very careful how nice you are to people, because they could end up taking advantage of you.

That does happen and that will happen, if you're not careful, that does not mean being mean to people or don't be nice to people, it just means you need to be more aware of how you're treating people because they could turn things around on you. That is also a stupid thing I've done that I don't want you to do, letting people take advantage of you is a very stupid thing, and sometimes you're not aware, but sometimes you are and it's very important you don't let that happen, because it will come back to hurt you and hunt you in some way or another.

Part II - Chasing your dreams isn't always a good thing...

Everyone has a dream, everyone has things they want to accomplish, places they want to go, things they want to do and people they want to meet. Having dreams and things you want to accomplish is a great thing. However, there is a way you should go about that that it's not going to burn you out or make you go crazy.

You need to take it slow and you need to take it one day at a time, chasing your dreams also takes a lot of work and sacrifice, when you're young and just starting out you might not be ready or mature enough to do so.

That does not mean don't chase your dreams. It just means take it slower. You don't want to jump into something and risk everything, and not have it work out. You don't want to throw all your savings away trying to start up your dream, just hoping that it's going to work or be successful.

Take it one step at a time, do your research, and make sure you know what you're doing, if you have a good high paying job, do not quit your job to start your dream until you know you can be successful going so, make sure you do it on the side when you're first starting out so you have a back-up plan if it doesn't work out.