Okay so, I know I'm probably going to get a lot of different responses to this blog post... I know I'm going to get a lot of people that agree with me and a lot of people that don't, this is just my opinion and this is just what works for me...it might not work for everybody…in my opinion, not everything works by incorporating faith and religion. For example, if you have a friend or a family member that's taking drugs, but they don't believe in God and they haven't ever, you certainly don't want to say “you just need Jesus,” or “all you need is Jesus...you are messed up because you don't believe in Jesus and he can save you.” Oftentimes, it's comments like that that tend to just make it worse.

Anger is a scary thing, but it comes out a lot because of all the pain. I sometimes wish it wouldn't come out, and I don't even know my own name and it's hard when there's not someone to blame, when it's the pain I put on myself when I chose to forget my own name. I wish this wasn't such a difficult game.

Sometimes, maybe just sometimes, you may have to work a little bit harder to get out of some stuff. There are going to be times you are there for yourself. There are going to be times no one is there to push you and you have to push yourself.

I'm not surprised, not everything lasts. I've broken my heart so many times I've stopped keeping track. I've tried so very hard not to lose it. I thought I had thought of every possibility. I know someday it will all work out. I know your text won't make me want to scream and shout but jump up and down. I know your smile will make me want to smile, even though it kind of cramps my style. I promise you that I'll give so much more than I get. Your hair will smell like daisies. Your heart will be patient. Your words will be kind. Your thoughts will be thoughtful. You will have explainable love for me, even though right now I just can't see, Dear Future Love, you're standing there waiting for me.

Mistreated.

Underestimated. 

Taken advantage of. 

Lost lots of friends and sanity and lots of broken vanities.

I know a lot of people get uncomfortable with the  use of the word hell , but there are certain situations that it is absolutely okay to say you're going through Hell or have been, because the reality is some situations just are…..

This is a story that I have never told
I have to get this off my chest so I can let it go.

So, sometimes it might be time to change directions if something's not working, or even if it is and you want something to be better. You need to be willing to take risks to get yourself there. Staying in your current position or season or hard time is not going to get you where you want to be in the future.

Dear Journal, I'm writing to tell you I feel like crap today. Some days are really good, some days not so good. Today was not very good. I feel trapped inside myself today and I feel stuck I feel like there is no way out.

Last year was a really hard year for me, emotionally and spiritually. I lost a lot of friends. I felt insecure because I wanted to be like everyone else and be able to do what everyone else could do. This caused me to get very sad and depressed. It honestly depended on the day. Some days I had really good days and other days I had really bad days and would come home and cry for no reason.